Scrapbooking is a Great Craft

Just not my personal choice of craft. You see, what a lot of people don't know about me is that I am a Vietnam vet disabled Marine.  I get a real kick out of smashing tile and tesserae into little pieces, gluing the bits on things and calling it mosaic art.

I only mention the marine thing so that you understand that no one can say I am less of a man because I prefer playing with glass to watching football. I have played football and it effing hurts!

My wife is just sooo possessive of my time she can hardly bear the thought of my absence – even for a few hours. That’s what I tell my sports nut buddies but truth be told I am married to the most understanding wife ever to come down the pike. So, for the present time anyway, my once monthly, one -quarter appearance during football season is sufficient (at least for now) to convince them that I am still one of the boys.

I’m truly sorry to blame my wife for my lack of sports enthusiasm but being the coward that I am I would rather have them think poorly of her than discover the awful truth – and risk being tossed into the loony bin just because I prefer to spend my time with a fun craft project than take part in the mass hysteria that takes place jusdown the street in a dark, smoke- filled cavern. There, amongst the spectral light of wall to wall big screen TV's, faces lit by a blue tinted light, purple lips depicting ghastly caricatures of the grinning faces of my sports fanatic friends – depending on the score, of course!

During a recent, rare appearance at the local pub during some game or the other, showing up to pacify a friend, (I can’t remember who was playing) I was enjoying a commercial break in the action, sipping on a cold one when my friend started in on me again with histheir good natured ribbing that I suspect is designed to wear me down and shame me into becoming a more regular sports bar patron. As I have many times before, I put on a long face, shrug my shoulders and patiently explain once again about how I will have to (gulp!), check with the wife. As I utter those words my posture consciously slumps into that of the total submissive which of course is designed to make them feel superior but it also helps that the attention span of a true sports nut is about two clicks below a two year-old. They can’t help it, sports bars are not doing their job unless the senses are stimulated, all of them, at once!

Forgetting for a moment the female factor where any girl sports fanatic, especially a good looking girl sports fanatic, always commands attention. There are just a few other stimuli that can generally prevent meaningful conversation; the combined smell of French fries in hot oil, stale beer, old cigarette smoke, and visually, the hypnotic, strobe- like effects of the TV’s and a multitude of screaming sports announcers at high decibels are all designed to grab your attention. Throw in a couple of good looking waitresses and well, you get the picture.

Related articles by Zemanta

• Jenn tries turning me into a sports fan (timesunion.com)
• The Battle for Eyeballs: Sport, TV, and YouTube (bleacherreport.com)
• Football Fans' Facebook Fantasy: Sports Illustrated Group Brings Award-Winning Fantasy Sports Resources to New "Sports Illustrated Fantasy Football" Social Game Powered with Watercooler (eon.businesswire.com)
• With 3-D, Theaters are the New Sports Bars (newteevee.com)

More From Lowcarb Crafter

• Mosaic For The Colorful Crafter
• A Gym For The Brain?
• Don't Fall For The Low Fat Scam!

Lowcarb Crafter Recommends

• Golf is my bag  (PaysonWeb)
• Word of Mouth Marketing  (PaysonWeb)
• Going to the U.S. Open at Pebble Beach!  (PaysonWeb)
• Is Your Marketing the PITS?  (Danny Brown)
• Picture Perfect, or The Power of the Avatar  (Danny Brown)
• The Thing About Blog Comments Is…  (Danny Brown)

Ask Lowcarb Crafter To Recommend Your Posts

A Guest Post By Dudley Kraft

Hi all! this is Dudley Kraft, it's my distinct pleasure to be here guest posting about two of my favorite subjects on my dear friends craft blog, the Lowcarb Crafter, those two subjects being crafts and healthy eating. I think the two go together because it's so easy to nosh while you craft and sitting on a stool for hours on end sewing is not exactly conducive to burning calories. Needless to say my weight gain soon began to concern me and I thought, what if a person could be involved with crafts and lose weight too?!

I have discovered that you can be into crafts and still be enjoying those snacks but only if you choose the right foods to snack on.  No matter what kind of craft you are passionate about, you could be a scrapbook aficionado, into paper crafts, fabric crafts, glass crafts, mosaic, scrapbooking, etc. you don't have to gain weight while crafting unless you make the wrong choices.

I enjoy my secret life as the Crafty-Man, the name I go by in the craft underground (Dudley is not my real name of course, as I would never admit to writing openly about my craft addictions under my real name.) But until I get the nerve to come out of the craft closet and face my creatively- challenged friends, that particular bunch of louts, admitting that crafts, not football!, were my passion, well, let's just say that if there was a TV reality show series, Is He or Isn’t He? I would be first person voted off. Projects that require sewing, scrapbooking or involve arts crafts of any kind are Verboten! to real men.

In other words, if a certain group of chest beating, testosterone laden, sports fanatic acquaintances of mine EVER found out about my secret life as a crafter , much less that I had “come out” and written an article for a craft publication, I would be banned from the local sports bar and ultimately be forced into moving to another city. An exaggeration you say? Well, you don’t know how serious these guys take their sports!

This is the first guest post in what we hope will become a regular series; Guys Can Craft Too!  by the Crafty-Man of crafts himself, Dudley Kraft.  For more information about Dudley check out his bio.

Related articles by Zemanta

• UP THERE and Appreciation of Craft (konigi.com)
• Craft Month Q&A: Betsy Burnett (scrapbookupdate.com)
• Communication During Crafts (teachinglearnerswithmultipleneeds.blogspot.com)
• Craft Month Q&A: Scrapbook Update Editor Nancy Nally (scrapbookupdate.com)
• Craft Month Q&A: Contributing Writer May Flaum (scrapbookupdate.com)